Good dad button?

Twitter, facebook, blogs - everyone's flittering on about buttons and badges.  And that's not just across social media. A similar thing happens in everyday life as we search for positive affirmations about our behaviour.  There is so much in the media and on people's lips about good dads, bad dads, good mums, bad mums.  And there's an awful lot of stuff going on right now about good dads and good men. 

As a fatherhood researcher, people often look to me for a nod on this.  I've written a bit about that on this blog before, but today I'm guest-posting over at the Enterprise Nation website.  Pop over and take a look.

Happy badge-hunting (wink)!

Are you a good dad? Hmmm........

So you do research with fathers? A couple of men turn their heads sharply in my direction. The women watch through the corner of their eyes – yes, we know you’re listening. But one or two men step closer creating a safer space to talk about ‘gender-wars’. They’re curious…..and so am I. What’s she going to say? What are they going to say?

We talk about all sorts of things: childcare, car sickness, work hours, money, pressure, boredom, relationships, leisure, love and film lists, male instincts - and guilt. Yes, guilt – always guilt. Because at the end of the day, the conversation is almost always about reassurance and affirmation: I think I’m a good dad….but do you, objective-researcher-who-is-a-mother, think I am?

Are you a good dad? Heck, I don’t know. Am I a good mum? There are things you could do differently and I will draw on my research findings to make suggestions. But, I’m sure there are things that your children, partner and friends would like you to do differently. Ask them, they’ll have a much better answer than I do. I wonder if they ever do….

Funny thing is, the mums who were eyeing the conversation never ask what we spoke about.